


How to Properly Utilize Your Enemy

by slightly_murderous_sorcerer (emerald_witch_esmeralda)



Category: Versailles (TV 2015)
Genre: (they’re bi), In this universe anyway, M/M, These two dorks, Wouis - Freeform, and now I can’t get out, banging on a boat, basically sexual tension bubbles over until it cracks like an egg, because they’re not gay, help they’ve taken over my life, historical Louis was blond, implied sex, just two enemies, no feet apart, once again I blame Vera d’Auriac for dragging me into Wouis hell with her brilliant writing, slightly smutty oneshot, so I went with that, would hatebang so hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 13:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emerald_witch_esmeralda/pseuds/slightly_murderous_sorcerer
Summary: Being forced to be around your enemy is hard. Being forced to share a cabin with said enemy on a month-long boat trip is...impossible, at least without there being at least one murder or blackened eye. But maybe, there’s a possibility that it doesn’t have to be so bad...if you figure out how to utilize your enemy properly.





	How to Properly Utilize Your Enemy

William was in his cabin, flipping through the pages of _Don Quixote_ for what must’ve been the fifth time in two days? It had become increasingly hard to keep track of time, he had written letters to his friends in Holland, sent plans and declarations to the council in his absence, even played three rounds of chess with the cabin boy...and actually lost once.  
Quite frankly, he was _bored_. And damn it all, there’d be four days yet until they reached the St. Laurent. Damn these leaders’ summits...having to be in uneasy company with the room half-full of people he’d never even met before or didn’t trust.  
Speaking of uneasy company, his eyes traveled to the thankfully still empty bed on the other side of the perpetually rocking room.  
If he’d known that he’d had to share a cabin with the bloody King of France (and he couldn’t pretend it was somebody else, the blue velvet fleurdelisé blanket was a perpetual reminder) , he would’ve swam across the damn Atlantic himself, and Louis felt the same way. The two of them, mortal enemies were forced to co-exist for the duration of this trip as this was the only ship left that would arrive to the summit on time, they’d have to wait weeks for others. And neither of them would think of sleeping in the hold with the men, so bunking it was.  


  
So far, he and Louis had done a decent job of pretending that the other one didn’t exist...apart from the occasional sniping match of course. William would never admit it, but their verbal dueling was actually the most fun he’d had on this boat. It was an odd feeling, on one hand he was glad that he had the room to himself and on the other hand, he missed the man.  
“William.”  
Speak of the French Catholic devil, the only one on this ship who would address him so casually. “Louis.” William said flatly, not even bothering to look up. If Louis was offended, he didn’t say anything about it.  
“What do you want?”  
“This is my cabin too, is it not?” He stretched out on the bed lazily, blond hair fanning out around him like a flame. William, ever the soldier had never bothered to grow his hair long due to convenience and practicality...but as Louis wielded a quill instead of a sword, he could afford to be impractical as he liked, clearly evidenced by the laces and frills he loved to wear. Like a preening peacock, he was quite meticulous about his appearance. William would often catch himself looking at Louis seeing to his hair in the vanity, or twirling it around his fingers in thought. Even shaking it out in the mornings, the gold glints catching the candlelight. Honestly, he’d would be lying if he said that he didn’t often think about tugging it until the king shouted in pain just to punish Louis for frustrating him so. But a different kind of frustration rose in him now, a kind that made him want to grab that hair and pull until a very different sound escaped from his rival’s lips.  


  
“Play?”  
“What?”  
“Do you want to play with me or not? I’m bored quite frankly, and by the look on your face I assume you are too.”  
“Do not assume to know anything about me, Louis Bourbon. And what game are you planning anyway?”  
“Alright...I have working eyes and I can tell from the look on your face that you’re bored, so would you like to play? Since we’re heading to work, we may as well play while we can, non? Although the game I propose might be a little...risqué for your delicate sensibilities.”  
“For a king, sometimes you act no better than a high class harlot.”  
“Why thank you, William. If somehow I’m removed from my throne, I’m suddenly far more confident in my ability to make a living.”  
“You’d whore yourself out?”  
“I like sex, I like money, and I still have my good looks so I think I’d make a killing, are you jealous because you’d be far too ugly to have any customers? Anyway, the game I propose is Never Have I Ever...an old childhood sport, surely you’ve heard of it? And besides, you might get some juicy secrets out of it to add to your collection.”  
“I _have_ heard of it, thank you.” William snapped, scarlet flooding his cheeks. He turned the idea over in his head, Louis obviously wanted to beat him at something...nothing was more fun than one-upping your enemy. And truth be told, he _was_ bored. Challenging Louis was always fun. “Very well...but let’s raise the stakes.”  
“Money?”  
“Bah, everyone uses money. I say stripping. Instead of putting down a finger, if the question asked pertains to you...we take a shot of wine. And/or remove an article of clothing.”  
“William Henry!” Louis gasped like a disappointed parent, giggling. “How very shameless of you, young man!”  
“Come on, I mean the French have a reputation for liberty, don’t they? I never would’ve taken you for a prude.”  
Louis snorted. “I am not a prude.”  
“Very well, then it shouldn’t be a problem. There’s nobody here but us, so your royal dignity shan’t be compromised. And besides, I have exactly the same stakes in it as you.”  
“Very well.”  


  


  


  
“Never have I ever...kissed someone of the same sex.” William merely shrugged at the question, took a shot of wine and removed his cravat. “I fucking knew it.” Louis muttered, trying to look everywhere but William’s pale throat and not think about the way that his dark hair fell around his shoulders.  
“What? I have absolutely nothing to hide.” William insisted calmly. “Alright, your turn. Never have I ever...had sex outside.”  
“I hate you.”  
“Likewise.” William grinned, and Louis cursed him for looking so fucking beautiful when he grinned...how dare he?! _No, you don’t deserve to be pretty! You’re annoying!_ Louis unbuttoned his waistcoat, letting it fall to the floor and William found himself wanting to rub that pout off of Louis’ face, with his lips. The French king leaned back in his chair, arms wrapped tightly around himself and William couldn’t tell if it were from him being cold or for modesty reasons. William merely smiled again and Louis flushed red...stupid Dutchman and his stupid, annoying, pretty face. William was in his white shirt and breeches, his coat, cravat and waistcoat having been long discarded. Louis on the other hand was literally down to his shirt and stockings...and nothing else.  
“You really are terrible at this, you know. I mean having sex outside, how scandalous of you.” William said cheerfully, his smirk crinkling his stupidly cute nose and Louis merely glared at him. “Shut. Up!”  
“May I ask how this happened?”  
“No, you may not.”  
“Oh come on...I’ll tell you what. I’ll tell you about my boy kiss if you tell me how you ended up having sex outside.”  
“Fine, you nosy little shit. I was fifteen...it was with the daughter of a gardener. I thought she was lovely and so I courted her, but her father watched her like a hawk. Unfortunately that meant I could only visit her in secret, imagine my mortification when her father and my mother stumbled upon us in the woods. Underneath an old oak.” William was trying to hold back a laugh, and the only reason he didn’t was because Louis was glaring at him and he didn’t want the man to have an apoplectic stroke. Who else would he annoy then?  
“You’re probably going crazy from the lack of women on the boat.”  
“Maybe I should make you my mistress instead, seeing you’re as pretty as a woman and you’re into boys anyway. At least I would if I lacked all dignity and manhood.”  
“Ah.” William refilled the glasses, taking delight in the way those bright blue eyes flashed. “Is that another reason you’re jealous of your brother? That he freely lives as he is while you’re too afraid to act on your own desires?”  
“I’m not afraid of anything! Certainly not my own desires!”  
“Is that so? I mean I do believe you just called me pretty, Your Majesty.” Louis blushed and didn’t speak as he wiped the sweat from his face. His shirt was unfastened and he wore no cravat, exposing that lovely pale neck and chest. In fact, he had made quite the show of slowly pulling that cravat loose while the collar of his shirt slowly fell open, looking at William the whole time. “Well, I’m going to get some more wine.” The French king mutters, suddenly cheerful as he was looking into the pewter pitcher. “Seems like we’re all out.” He stood up and pulled on his high-heeled shoes, making a great show of bending over to get them as well as fully extending those dancer’s legs he was so proud of while putting them on. William’s face flushed nearly as red as the wine and the tightness in his breeches was not being helped by the situation. _Damn tease!_ Louis flashed him his sunniest smile as he nearly skipped toward the door, curls bouncing down his back...but he had not put back on his breeches, William looked surprised when he realized this.  
“Do you intend to walk around like that all day?”  
“I don’t see why not. Does it make you uncomfortable? I mean it shouldn’t, you suggested the strip element.”  
“Not at all. But isn’t this a little indecent?”  
“I am king, and I could walk around arse-naked if I wished.”  
“We could just call a servant to bring more.”  
“And have us walked in on like this? I don’t think so.”  
“What are you doing, Louis?” He choked out.  
“It’s quite stuffy in here, I thank you for convincing me to relieve myself a little. Judging by the flush on your skin, you look a bit hot yourself. Maybe you should take off some layers yourself, hm?”  
“I feel perfectly cool.”  
“You are a young man, William. Your blood is hot, I understand.” William merely drained the last of the wine and let his eyes follow Louis’ back as the human embodiment of both sexual frustration and a migraine disappeared behind the door, and judging by the gasps and surprised shouts he heard even from here...the king’s state of dishabille was as shocking and indecent as they thought it would be. Even though Louis’ shirt reached just above his knees and so his bits were covered, this would be considered highly indecent. 

  
> “You know, I was the same when I was your age. In fact, I’m much the same now.” Louis greeted cheerfully, returning with a full bottle in his hand a short time later.  
“So you admit you’re old, then.”  
“Absolutely not.” He set the bottle down after taking a swig before walking up to William’s chair. “The...what is this?”  
“Shhh.” Louis put a finger to his lips before placing both his hands on either side of the chair’s high back, leaning in so that his and the younger man’s faces were barely inches apart. That French perfume that Louis was drenched in suddenly flooded William’s senses, becoming overwhelming to the point where he was nearly lightheaded. “You accused me of being afraid of my desires a little bit ago. Are you afraid of yours?”  
“Of course not.”  
“Then prove it. Be a man. Take what you want.”  
William huffed. “I don’t know what you’re trying to get at, but...”  
“Is that so?” Louis looked down into William’s lap, and they both flushed while Louis’ smirk grew wider. “Your mouth can lie, but a man’s body never can. And come on, William...I’m no fool and neither are you. I’ve seen the way you look at me. When I’m brushing my hair, when I dress or undress, I feel your eyes on my back. Not that I mind, I mean I like the attention.” William clenched his hands at his sides, to stop his fingers from twitching...damn this poisonous, beautiful man. “I...” William tried to say but Louis’ hair brushing his face and neck made William’s words die in his throat. “Anyway, I do believe that you promised me a story for a story. I told you mine, now you tell me about the boy who kissed you. Fair is far, after all.”  
“I.” William took a deep breath to steady himself, eyes piercing into Louis’. “I was seventeen. I met him while inspecting the soldiers with De Witt...we became friends. We were near inseparable, swimming and hunting and riding together. Beautiful with long golden hair, much like you...”  
“Like me?”  
“Disregard what I said! Anyway, I didn’t expect that anything was up, until he kissed me. I was surprised but...I quickly realized that this was something I liked.”  
“It must’ve been some kiss.”  
“It was. I honestly felt like I was flying.”  
Louis then leaned in further, as close as he could without literally straddling William’s lap. “Now that is interesting. Why don’t you show me how he kissed you?”  
“I thought kissing boys was beneath your dignity.”  
“But you said, it made you feel like you were flying. It’s only fair that I wish to experience such a thing...I mean I would’ve been content with a story, but now you’ve made me curious. And, quite jealous if I can be honest. I’ve never had my head spin due to a kiss.”  
Now it was William’s turn to smirk. “Never? Despite all your escapades? Now that’s unfortunate...I suppose I’ll take pity on you then.” Louis gasped when William reached up to grab his hips, pulling the shorter man flush against him as he stood up. Louis turned a brilliant shade of red. “Now, he grabbed me much like I’m grabbing you at the current moment.”  
“And then what?” Louis breathed. It seemed like all of his sexual experience decided to fly out of the window, because he suddenly felt like a trembling virgin again.  
“And then...something very much like this happened.” William leaned down and brushed their lips together, Louis gasped again and then pressed his smile into the other man’s mouth, hands sliding into that soft hair as he felt William’s chuckle.  


  


  


  
Yes, William concluded. Boat trips, especially long ones could be quite boring...and sometimes they could be downright unbearable when you’re forced to share a cabin with somebody that you hate. But as Mama had always taught him, there’s a bright side in every situation if you’re willing to find it. And as his eyes strayed down to his bed to look at the man curled into his side, the soft rocking of the ship having lulled him to sleep as evidenced by the soft snores that came from him... he realized that Mama was absolutely right as mothers usually turned out to be. William smiled softly as he twined golden hair around his fingers, enjoying the feel of their warm skin pressing together and generating heat that made his eyelids heavy...maybe you just need to learn how to utilize your enemy properly. They could be quite a bit of fun if you knew how to use them.


End file.
